Cry on the inside like a winner

”There is something wrong”. Those thoughts, that sentense - nobody wants that.

In ”The other woman” when Kates world is falling apart Carly tells her to ”cry on the inside like a winner” - it’s sort of a funny scene but in truth that is what most of us do. We hide it, trying to hold it back, nobody wants to seeme that voulnerable or week.

But what about when your world truly crumbles? When you get a result you can do nothing about? When you are completly helpless? What then?

You can’t keep crying on the inside, you need an outlet! And you need tools for dealing with all those emotions. It’s so hard and it takes a lot of work to get out of that dark place - but in time you will heal some of those wounds and you will begin to function again.

I’ve realised that although I have come quite a bit on my journey back I have one huge issue, something I think I will have to live with for a very long time if not forever - acceptance! I can talk about Freja and her diagnosis outside myself but when it comes to reality, the inside, what it means for me/us/our family then I will break. Thinking about the future can also put tears in my eyes - what will happen in school, what about when she moves out, her every day life and so on. 

I mean I know she has Pitt-Hopkins but at the same time, when I look into her eyes I’m having trouble accepting what is. I mean truly accepting.

And I also understand that in every challenge we will meet there will be tears, so I’m just hoping everyone will understand that, family and friends as well as institutions we are depending on. We have a challenging life ahead of us but we are a strong family and we (the parents) are a strong team.

Three years ago today, on Christmas eve, right before we were leaving for my parents house to celebrare the holidays we got positive on the pregnancy test. That was the beginning of this journey and we still have a lot to learn about whats ahead! But then again you never really know whats ahead in any case! You just power through! 👊