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Can't keep my eyes op...

This weekend has been very productive. We still havn't begun putting the garden house together but now we are almost done with the foundation.
I have moved one cubic meter of stone dust from one end of the garden to the other - every muscle is aching. David has placed 70 concrete garden tiles as the bottom frame soo... that was two days full work and we were so tired last night.
After that I still had to clean the house and prepare the laundry... zzzzz...
In the middle of the night Freja woke up and refused to go back to sleep for about 4 hours so come morning it was chaos and my alarm didn't go of. Somehow the kids got to daycare and I was only 17 minutes late for work - how it all came together in the end I have no idea. Hahaha...
Well at work you couldn't really tell that I had that chaotic morning cause I've had a lot of energy and gotten a lot done! Now I'm just excited, and a bit nervous, to get home and see one of our trees being taken down. It's a real…

Huge outdoor playpen

Freja will turn 3 years in about 3 months and she still can't walk but she is a fast crawler. Our outdoor decking is nice but for a small child that crawls she can easily get splinters.
So now we decided to make the decking "Freja-friendly" by laying a outdoor broadloom on top (antracite color) so now she can crawl freely out there without getting splinters and it's really nice for all of us actually.
Now we are just waiting for the child safety gates to arrive and then we will have a huge playpen outside for Freja to move around in! How great is that!

Got a temper

We have always said that Freja is the most content and happy baby you could ever get... well now she has gotten herself a temper!
We know that it's progress that she is showing her own will and that gives her a drive to test and explore new things, but since we can't understand her nor she us it's strains the everyday life. She gets grumpy when she doesn't get her will and whines... a lot.
Not understanding each other is just hard. Most kids understand commands and sentenses even though they can't talk/respond at a very young age and we have a, soon to be, 3 year old who doesn't seem to understand anything we say. "Where is mommy?" doesn't get the appropriate respons. It's just... hard...
The weather is getting warmer and we've been outside every day when we get home from daycare and actually Freja likes crawling in the grass now. Last year she started screaming when we sat her in the grass, but now she thinks it's a lot of fun. She f…

The twins riding bikes

So... we are trying to teach the twins to ride their bikes.
Well it really isn’t easy teching two kids at the same time and to do it proparly! Eyes forward and use the footbreak! OMG... Hahaha...
I have two days alone with the kids and of course they wanna bike and I want them to but it sure wasn’t easy! And at the same time I was pushing Freja in her pram, a few more hands would have been helpful! 😊
But it has been like that all the way with the twins cause they have learned the same things at the same time so we’ve had double all the time! It’s so special having twins and watching them learn stuff together as well. They inspire and push each other to develop further all the time and we are among the lucky few that gets to have identical twins.
They are growing up so sweet, considerate, polite and gives you the cutest comments that just makes your day! Yay for the twins! 👧👧

I'm someone else... but am I really!?

So... a while ago I posted about how I don't feel like myself anymore - that this experience with my daughter and me being burnt out-depressed-anxious has changed me.
Well I'm glad to say that I'm starting to feel like myself again, something I actually didn't think was possible. My hubby told that 'Yes you will come back again' but I didn't really believe it. I was torn down and needed to slowly build myself up again and it was a lot of work, a lot of hard work.
I've been working 50% now (started with 25%) and soon I will go up to 75% so I'm well on my way. I'm thankful for my supporting family, my amazing doctor and insightful therapist.
Mental health usually intails stigma but in truth we all meet difficult times and you never know how you'll react. I never thought this would've broken me but it did. BUT there is a way back and eventually you'll get there. Nobodys life is perfect all the time cause life moves in waves with high …

Muscle fever

So... the past weekend we started preparing our backyard for the greenhouse that hopefully will arrive later this week.
It was pretty hard work both saturday and sunday. 54 bags of bark to cover the ground inside the greenhouse and to big piles of ground dirt to fill holes where the greenhouse is going to be placed to even it out.
It's pretty far walking from one side of the plot to the other carrying the bags or pushing the gravel... very hard work. But it is nice to see everything taking shape - come on greens.
Anyways now I have muscle fever in muscles I don't ordinary use - mostly in the back. Some weird muscle that is probably used when shoveling dirt and some others that I probably used carrying the bags. Well well... the reward should be great... ;)

Rational emotions

I’ve always been more rational than emotional.
What happened with Freja and how that burned me out, the depression and the anxiety has luft me with my emotions more on the outside. I think those that have met me would probably not describe me as emotional, maybe they would even describe me as harsh.
So this new life being so close to tears, to all my emotions is really hard getting used to! Last year one of my favourite artists died and I got really emotional. I wasn’t a hardcore fan, I hadn’t Even seen a show, but I loved the music and every playlist I ever made had at least one song by the band.
Being more emotional means I feel more for others than I used to. I’ve always had a lot of empathy and compassion for others but now I just tear up aswell, a lot. 
So a few days ago Swedish superstar Tim ”Avicii” Bergling dies. He was only 28 years old, it’s very sad and very chocking. I mean almost everyone listen to his songs and love them so there are a lot of people mourning this loss.