Diabetes-Johanna

It's that time of year for me and my diabetes - time for eye screening. Well I have done this a few times during my 15 years with diabetes, it's just a part of living with diabetes. First you get pupil dilating eye drops (they sting), then you have to wait for 30 minutes and then they take photos of the bottom of your eyes in a very dark room. The procedure will show any changes, like small bleedings, in your eyes that are diabetes related. I do have some small bleedings, first showed after my youngest was born in 2015. When you've had diabetes for more than 10 years these kind of changes are common. Because your pupils are dilated your eyes get really sensitive to the light and they can't really focus so you often get blurry eyesight. I had my sunglasses on for at least 3 hours after - even inside when I got back to work. It worked out really good yesterday actually. I walked there (just a few houses away), got the eye drops, ate my lunch while waiting...

So while I'm doing this counting calories I've changed some things during my day but I still eat a lot of the same things just smaller portions. While I'm trying to loose weight I'm set to eat 1300 kcal per day but when I've reached my goal weight I will probably be able to eat 1500-1600 kcal per day - that's a 100 more kcal per meal. Due to my insulin resistance in the morning my breakfast is very low carb or no carb at all. Well this is how my food is planned. Breakfast - 325 kcal: 2 boiled eggs or a protein shake/pudding. Lunch - 390 kcal: Soop of some kind and one slice of bread with two slices of cheese (no butter) is a good lunch. Dinner - 390 kcal: Something more sturdy then lunch just to keep the blood sugar level for some excercize. Swedish fika ;) - 195 kcal: So breakfast is set at 325 kcal however I never reach that level and really with diabetes you need some "extra" calories during the day for snacks, s...

I never thought I would EVER do that but now I am. I've tried many different things but nothing has ever really worked and this way I can still eat things I love - I just have to calculate everything. Although right now pizza and chips are out of the question! Hahaha... I love salty so for me that's a big sacrifice but in the end I know I'll feel better. My diabetes is actually feeling excellent. I now take the same doses as I did 15 years ago when I first got my diagnosis! It's truly amazing. I try to exercise 4 times a week for at least 30 minutes and I'm focusing on cardio. And surprisingly it's going okay even though I don't eat as much and I don't have as many calories to play with in case I get a low blood sugar. The most eye opening thing about this experience is to learn how much more than I need that I've been eating! OMG!!! Now I eat about half the portions I did before so it's no wonder I didn't loose any weight. W...

... have me turning negative. Negative towards the racist party getting such a large amount of the votes. I mean they may "only" be tha third largest party in all of Sweden but here in the South of Sweden they are actually the biggest party in most of the small communities. I mean... what is going to happen with all of that? I don't want them to rule my Community, I don't trust them to do that! That is my kids wellbeing and education at stake. Also negative towards the ruling government to still be ruling. I mean... they have dismantled the whole help system for kids and adults with special needs. We can't trust them... Look at what they've done to these poor families. Feels hopeless...

So starting my journey towards better health! I did buy some fancy training clothes after Freja was born to motivate myself to get back in shape but then everything happened and exercise was not my priority even though it would probably have helped my mental state when I was at my lowest point. However I’m trying to fix that now! My doctor have put me on partial work leave mostly for exercise for my mental wellbeing and my diabetes. And I really need to do this now cause my diabetes could be much better and I really want it to get better. Just hoping I can find a way to keep everything going and a way to stay motivated.

My mom is visiting us for a few days while dad is on his golftrip. We were watching old videos of the twins and it just hit me that I had totally forgotten what it was like to have normal babies. The way they moved, the sounds they made, how they laughed and what they laughed at, the... just the normal and non-pressured everyday we had back then... Today Freja turned 3 years... time has just flied and we have so much going on all the time and sometimes we just forget to enjoy the moments, to saver them. Having a special needs child means to have a more strained everyday. Looking at the videos there were also videos of Freja before we knew anything was odd about her - it was a bit bittersweet. She was so cute, such a sweet baby and how could we ever think something was odd about her.  She is still so cute and so sweet but she is not an ordinary baby and living in it we maybe don’t think that much about it, but when she makes progress we get super happy - much happie...

Känner att jag nog ska göra ett inlägg utifrån hatattackerna i VM och det stundande valet Sverige ska göra för framtiden. Jimmy Durmaz var så hyllad efter insatsen i kvalet och det är förvånansvärt vad snabbt "fansen" vände honom ryggen efter matchen mot Tyskland i lördags. Att kalla honom diverse skällsord (rasistiska skällsord), fälla diverse rasistiska kommentarer och mordhota hans liv, hans frus liv och hans barns liv... ja det har sänt oss, de riktiga fansen, i chock. Det är ett fruktansvärt beteende. "I med- och motgång tillsammans" det är så man är ett riktigt fan. Eller som min kusin skrev "i landslaget är vi gula och blå, inte svarta och vita" och så tycker jag att det alltid är. Ja vi ser olika ut men det har vi alltid gjort; en är lång och en är kort, en är normalviktig och en är smal, en tycker om gröna kläder och en annan gillar rosa, en har blåa ögon och en annan gröna, en har nästan vitt hår och en annan helt svart. Varför spelar hu...